…home is where I wanna be—except when I’d rather be back at the hospital.
Thursday morning was Day 7 of the chemo protocol. They hung the last bag about 10:30 before I left to go to work. Josh was out of there by 2 p.m. Still not feeling great, but home. We’ve dealt with this before. He was feeling bad and wanting to go back to the hospital by the time I got home that evening. There’s a certain sense of security in the hospital. Nurses are there, doctors are on call, drugs are available. Its not easy, I suppose, getting weaned off of morphine and Ativan; even when the doses are very low. And you’re scared. There’s been a lot of insecurity this time. This is overwhelming and Josh knows what it is to face his mortality.
But it’s Saturday now, and—after a couple of restless nights—he’s feeling better. It took a couple of days to get the meds on schedule; Zofran for nausea, Tylenol III for pain, Protonix for reflux, and the Kepra to prevent seizures. We flush his central line each evening with Heperon to prevent clotting in the line. And a shot of Neupogen each evening to stimulate cell growth and shorten the time his immune system will be suppressed. He goes to the clinic Monday for a blood count and we’ll get an idea when we’ll need some blood or platelets. Overall, we’re into the home routine and he’s feeling a lot better.
He had some company this afternoon and that helped to have someone his age to play video games and talk with. He’s been eating a little better each day and today he started drinking a lot of Gatorade and that helped a lot. I think he was a little dehydrated and that was making him feel bad in addition to everything else. So he’s pushing fluids now and eating. He’s starting to be the old, cocky Josh we all know and love. Still, he’s careful not to overtire himself. He’s good at pacing himself and pulling back when he needs a rest.