Thursday, August 12, 2004

So we begin -- again

Josh goes in to Beaumont at 07:45 this morning; surgery at 09:30 to insert the new port catheter to give him a central line. He'll get admitted after he wakes up and they get him a room up on the Peds floor. Chemo will start this afternoon.

Josh has been very calm this time. Right on top of things, like always. He just wants to know the facts and options. Keep him informed and he'll process it. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it -- withdrawing into Nintendo games or a book -- but the wheels are turning up there in that mind of his and he doesn't miss a thing.

I need to think about getting an e-mail out to start lining up blood donors. His counts were still very good yesterday. It will be a couple of weeks before he needs any transfusions, but that will zoom by. It's hard to believe he's really sick again. He looks great, feels great. Yet this cancer is starting to nibble away.

I hate the thought of that poison, all that chemo, coursing through his veins all this next seven days. Watching. Seeing the slow progression as it weakens him and makes him sick. Steals his appetite and destroys his taste buds.

I can't begin to say how proud I am of his courage and fortitude. The first time we fought this he was 11 and it was all such a great unknown. Yet, after the first relapse, and again with this relapse he has dealt with it as it came; knowing what the shape and size of the dragon he had to slay was. More Phoenix than dragon in that it keeps rising from it's ashes to attack him again. Yet, he always faces it down. I don't think there are many fathers who are lucky enough to be able to say how much they truly admire their sons. I am.

No comments: