Tuesday, September 14, 2004

2 a.m.

One cat is clawing at the furniture demanding attention. I get up and let/throw her out. When I come back up the other cat, which’s been sleeping on my feet, has moved up into my place just below my pillow. I move her and wonder if they have strategy sessions to plan these things. Hah! Fooled them. I’ve been awake; mind racing, won’t shut down. Running scenarios in my mind.

Although we’ve got a clear general idea where we’re headed right now, the details remain cloudy. I’m trying to stay focused on what we’re doing next, but still…you want to know what’s coming. Is this other donor going to be a better match? Will they be available? Will we be able to get into Minnesota or Seattle if we have to go with a mismatched donor?

So today, they’ll be pushing that long needle through the skin above his hip; through the bone into the marrow, withdrawing the sample which will tell us where we stand. Letting us know how well the chemo has worked and will guide the doctors in their decisions for which drugs to use in the next round. And when will we start? I’m thinking they’ll probably get him in and started right away, but it could be a few days. I’d like him to have the chance to go to the Light the Night walk Friday night, but we’ll have to see. He may be just across the street from it in Beaumont.

I can see the anxiety in Josh, too. Restless. Wanting to get on with it, but dreading it. For now, though; we wait.


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